| | ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ |  |
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+16Kikyo Moon Applepie Elemental Princess Miss Maple fion-a chibihub Lyn27 LumenAstrum darkdoll25 rin966 Ana Dee shine azureXtwilight ~Sire Kirroha Belle-Destinee 20 posters |
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theone
Immortal
Posts : 1637
Join date : 2012-01-10
Age : 30
Location : Bored!
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:21 am | |
| It's not mine either  | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
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theone
Immortal
Posts : 1637
Join date : 2012-01-10
Age : 30
Location : Bored!
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:25 am | |
| Thanks. Yours is pretty good too. Is mega troll still posting stuff? | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:29 am | |
| - theone wrote:
- Thanks. Yours is pretty good too. Is mega troll still posting stuff?
Dunno, but I want her to start posting again.  | |
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theone
Immortal
Posts : 1637
Join date : 2012-01-10
Age : 30
Location : Bored!
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:31 am | |
| Maybe she could be the doppelganger. Just read her doppelganger fic. How do you fit someone in a cupboard? | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:49 am | |
| - theone wrote:
- Maybe she could be the doppelganger. Just read her doppelganger fic. How do you fit someone in a cupboard?
Umm...you cut their limbs and head off...maybe...  | |
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shine
Caviar Sandwich Maker
Posts : 2940
Join date : 2011-07-13
Age : 34
Location : Locked in the kitchen by Kirro.
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 2:39 am | |
| - theone wrote:
- Maybe she could be the doppelganger. Just read her doppelganger fic. How do you fit someone in a cupboard?
THIS was the biggest mystery of all. | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 7:29 am | |
| Maybe Belle could enlighten us a bit. | |
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Elemental Princess
Immortal
Posts : 2686
Join date : 2011-01-06
Age : 28
Location : Helping Kiki search for Auau to force him to put on an emerald gothic lolita dress
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Thu Jan 12, 2012 2:56 pm | |
| - shine wrote:
- theone wrote:
- Maybe she could be the doppelganger. Just read her doppelganger fic. How do you fit someone in a cupboard?
THIS was the biggest mystery of all. Well, since she destroyed the whole mystery about doppelgangers, she had to create a new mystery for her story.
And theone, I had the same problem with typos after reading Belle's fic XD | |
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avalongirl9
Senior Adventurer
Posts : 114
Join date : 2011-10-11
Age : 25
Location : in a computer room...you will never know which one! >=3
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Fri Feb 24, 2012 1:55 am | |
| Okay, I will try my best to write a solid review for your fanfic. Oh and by the way this review is not going to have any sarcasm in it so you don't have to worry about if I am being serious or not. Okay so first off, do you have the "check spelling" button checked? It really helps if you have to write your story in a short period of time or if you are not very good at spelling. Because to be honest your story....I can only understand half of it. I Seriously have to think about each and every line so that I can understand what you are trying to deliver to the readers. Also, I noticed that you seem to be having a bit of trouble with coming up with words, instead of saying, "serious looking", try saying...erm..maybe "He/she looked quite dangerous ( or what you were trying to deliver) as they.." I know it isn't a very good example (because I am not a very good writer ) but what I am trying to say is that instead of telling people you should be adding detail to your sentences and showing them, in other words you should be mixing up your words instead of having the same ones over and over again. Also if you really want to show what color their eyes and hair are try to put them in a sentence instead of just saying something like this. " a man with blue hair came down the stairs" it would be better to say this " The man's blue hair shined as he came down the stairs". I will write more of this review later but I hope it helped.  | |
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avalongirl9
Senior Adventurer
Posts : 114
Join date : 2011-10-11
Age : 25
Location : in a computer room...you will never know which one! >=3
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:05 am | |
| - darkdoll25 wrote:
- ...
I'm reading the worst fanfiction in the history of fanfiction. I posted it in the Chat Forum ._.
It's a harry potter one, and it gets worse.
Worse than how Belle writes. want to read a sample? I lul'zd.
- Spoiler:
AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.
When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse's office but it looked difrent! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic? at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said '1980.'
"OMFG! Im back in Tim again!111" I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!11
"OMFG Enoby r u ok." He asked gothikally.
"Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation." I snapped sexily. "OMG am I dedd?" koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame's gun. I also rememberd cing Drako doing it wif Snap!111
I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.
"No ur not dead." Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. "Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy's dad is doing."
I noo dat da real reason I didn't die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. "WTF! James almust shot Luciious!" I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn't want him2 know I knew.
"Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress." Satan reasoned evilly.
"I guess that's ok." I said because James hadn't really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don't 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. "Hey." He sed all qwietly and goffically.
This is only a section, out of 45 chapters. ..I died. But I'm still reading it. .....MY SPELLING CHECK IS GOING CRAZY!!!  also I didn't know that stories like that existed.. | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Fri Feb 24, 2012 2:21 am | |
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avalongirl9
Senior Adventurer
Posts : 114
Join date : 2011-10-11
Age : 25
Location : in a computer room...you will never know which one! >=3
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Fri Feb 24, 2012 7:34 am | |
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katielynn98
Immortal
Posts : 1348
Join date : 2012-01-21
Age : 28
Location : No longer dead
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:37 am | |
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Elemental Princess
Immortal
Posts : 2686
Join date : 2011-01-06
Age : 28
Location : Helping Kiki search for Auau to force him to put on an emerald gothic lolita dress
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Fri Feb 24, 2012 6:04 pm | |
| XD Actually that person is probably a troll who purposely wrote the fic that badly.
Belle's DEFINITELY a troll too. | |
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avalongirl9
Senior Adventurer
Posts : 114
Join date : 2011-10-11
Age : 25
Location : in a computer room...you will never know which one! >=3
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Fri Feb 24, 2012 9:37 pm | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:31 am | |
| *nods*
My brain is in pain... | |
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theone
Immortal
Posts : 1637
Join date : 2012-01-10
Age : 30
Location : Bored!
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sat Feb 25, 2012 4:26 pm | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sat Feb 25, 2012 7:57 pm | |
| Because I read this crap I can't even write in english properly  . ( ...and I've just started writing the script for my game...  ). | |
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katielynn98
Immortal
Posts : 1348
Join date : 2012-01-21
Age : 28
Location : No longer dead
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sat Feb 25, 2012 8:39 pm | |
| That stinks... (Have you drawn any characters yet?) | |
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avalongirl9
Senior Adventurer
Posts : 114
Join date : 2011-10-11
Age : 25
Location : in a computer room...you will never know which one! >=3
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:25 pm | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:17 am | |
| Nope. I've just started. ( Now I'm composing some music and I've started writing the plot in a notebook. I need to learn how to draw first so I can make the sprites. ) | |
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Elemental Princess
Immortal
Posts : 2686
Join date : 2011-01-06
Age : 28
Location : Helping Kiki search for Auau to force him to put on an emerald gothic lolita dress
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sun Feb 26, 2012 12:57 am | |
| XD You can always find an artist, you know. | |
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Kikyo Moon
Immortal
Posts : 2943
Join date : 2010-08-15
Age : 32
Location : *Trying to put on the emerald gothic lolita dress on Aurelio*
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:06 am | |
| I don't have money to pay for an artist so I better start drawing on my own even if it will take a while... | |
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avalongirl9
Senior Adventurer
Posts : 114
Join date : 2011-10-11
Age : 25
Location : in a computer room...you will never know which one! >=3
| | Subject: Re: ~*leons destiny*~ a fanfiction <3 ~~~~~~~ THE END!!!! ~~~~~~~~~ Sun Feb 26, 2012 1:43 am | |
| If you want I could maybe do the art for free  I am not the best artist but I love to draw so.. | |
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